commercial for LEERDAMMER.
I would really like some great characters for this job please – dont hold
back, i will go to bonkers and beyond –
ACTORS WITHOUT AN AGENT IF YOU ARE SUBMITTING YOURSELF
YOU MUST MUST MUST INCLUDE YOUR MOBILE NUMBER.
Casting: July 23rd PM in Central London
Shoot: August 14th 2015
Fee: see below.
To establish the films geography and to add production value, we open on a
wide shot of an artisan, bespoke furniture shop. We see various pieces of
furniture, some finished, some works in progress, and several craftsmen,
young and old, busying themselves turning lathes, sanding, using setsquares
or tape measures to precisely mark, check, and cut pieces of wood.
So everything appears normal, until…
…We become aware of a noise that overpowers everything else on screen. The
camera performs a sideways track, landing on a master carpenter.
He is hard at work. However, he is not cutting wood as youd expect.
Instead, he is working a large block of cheese
Yes… hes using a circular bench saw. But he does it with no drama as if
it was the most normal thing in the world. This is a small event, filmed
simply.
He pushes the cheese against the blade, and its teeth destroy it, sending
pieces everywhere. He ends up with a block he can do nothing with.
Raggedy edges, thick and broken…
There is no way he can make a sandwich with it. Its rubbish.
This needs to feel, in a word, odd. Everything is normal, apart from the
English boy. The reactions from the regular people are just right, and we
should be doing the same.
An incredibly understated Dutch voiceover interjects…
Whoa there, Mr. Cabinet maker
An arm irreverently comes into frame from the right and turns off the
circular bench saw.
It is very much a matter-of-fact movement it arrives, helpfully flicks off
the switch and leaves. The voiceover continues…
You dont need to go to all this trouble to make your lunch
As soon as it is gone, another hand enters frame from the left, holding a
pack of Leerdammer. The voice from the Netherlands continues in a helpful,
understated way…
Leerdammer is too tasty, and, already sliced you see…
The carpenter is completely compliant, and does not question the hand. He
takes the Leerdammer and we see various shots of him effortlessly preparing
the most delicious sandwich.
A slice of nutty, artisan bread lands on a woodworking bench. Lettuce is
placed, as is tomato, and lastly slices of Leerdammer. The result is totally
delicious, appetising, and seductive. The voiceover continues…
So no need to be using the woodworking machinery…
The master carpenter deftly places the scrumptious looking sandwich on a
stunningly carved pedestal maybe it is another hand, in response to the
first two, but this one, finely crafted from wood. He stands back to admire
his handiwork.
It might just be the best thing he has ever made.
The lighting of the scene highlights the sandwich in all its glory.
From the sandwich we rack focus to see another couple of carpenters in the
background. One is cutting into a baguette with a hammer and chisel or
hacksaw, whilst the other is squashing cheese in a vice, making it explode
all over the place.
With absolutely no change in expression, the voiceover continues to comment
on what it sees.
Tut. You know, there is no helpings some peoples.
And with that, we cut to our packshot. A pack of Leerdammer cheese sat
upright on a woodworking bench, next to the delicious sandwich, surrounded
by carpenters tools a plane, tape measure, square pencil, set square and
so on. Perhaps there are even a couple of shaved wood curls, adding a unique
decorative garnish.
Seeking:
SENIOR CARPENTER: Male, 39 – 62.
NEEDS TO BE A BIT INTENSE AND OFF BEAT AND WITH FACIAL HAIR PREFERABLY
(BUT IF YOU HAVE A GUY WHOS REALLY SPECIAL (AND I MEANT INTENSE AND VERY
ODD) WITHOUT FACIAL HAIR, WELL TAKE THAT TOO)
The tone of this ad is made by the character being super intense and really
believing he can cut cheese in the same way he cuts wood.
Even when he takes a bite afterwards he doesn’t smile, he enjoys it
intensely but he gets on with his work – being and intense carpenter
Fee: £300 BSF + £4000 Buyout
TV and Internet UK 1 year
JUNIOR CARPENTER: Male, 19 – 30.
THE YOUNGER GUY NEEDS TO A BIT NERDY WITH BUM FLUFF ON HIS CHIN (THEY CAN
ADD THIS)
HES INTENSE BUT A BIT UNSURE OF HIMSELF HE COULD BE FAT OR THIN.
I WOULD LIKE SOME GEEKY ODDBALLS FOR THIS AS WELL PLEASE (NO HIPSTERS THOUGH
PLEASE)
IF YOU HAVE ANY NON BUTCH, REAL CARPENTERS OR CRAFTSMEN THEY ARE GOOD TOO
Fee: £300 BSF + £3500 BUYOUT
UK TV AND INTERNET 1 YEAR
KNARLY OR HAIR HAND MODEL MALE: Male, 40 – 70.
I Need a knarly (knobbly) set of arms – any age but probably over 40
I will also look at VERY HAIRY ARMS WITH HAIRY KNUCKLES! (ANY AGE)
Fee: NOT RECOGNIZABLE SO £300 FOR THE DAY (PROBABLY WONT BE NEEDED
THAT LONG)
ELEGANT HAND MODEL: Female, 40 – 70.
HAND MODEL LONG, ELEGANT ARMS AND HANDS. – THEY SHOULD LOOK LIKE THE HANDS
OF A COUNTESS!
Fee: NOT RECOGNIZABLE SO £300 FOR THE DAY (PROBABLY WONT BE NEEDED
THAT LONG)
CHINESE CARPENTER WALK ON: Male, 20 – 60.
FAR EASTERN (CHINESE, JAPANESE, KOREAN ETC)
One of the carpenter’s in the work shop
Fee: £250 a day walk on fee